Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Engaged!

Ashby and I (recent but pre-engagement)



It's official: I'm engaged.  I met Ashby last year the day I moved in at college.  It was an amazing string of coincidences that day which led us to be in the same room.  Something about her stood out to me, and I asked her out.  We have been dating ever since, and this summer I decided that I really wanted to marry her.  I wrote the following essay for a class, so it's kind of vague about what big decision it was that I was making; the decision was to marry Ashby.

I had first seen the Pacific Ocean a few days ago.  This was only the second time I have been close enough to actually touch the water.  The beach is like nothing I have ever seen.  Instead of the expected sand, the Oregon coast is presently covered with dark blue rocks.  As I walk down the beach, I first step on rocks the size of my fist.  The rocks gradually decrease in size, eventually becoming mere flakes of what must have at one time been immense boulders.  The rocks are amazingly smooth from rubbing up against one another for longer than anyone cares to remember.  As I walk, my weight causes the stones to shift under my feet.  Still, coming from a town just a walking distance from Lake Erie, the ocean seems vaguely familiar to me.  Sure, the waves are much larger and the water is salty but I can see no farther than I can across the lake at home.  For all I know there could be land just out of view past the horizon.

            It seems that whenever I experience great natural beauty, my mind runs free, unrestricted by its everyday thoughts.  The notion of the unseen land across the water reminds me of the future.  I know it exists somewhere, but where it lies, how far away it is and what shape it will take is utterly unknowable.  In the present age of information, with so much available on a whim, I have become used to receiving answers to my queries.  Not so with the future.  There is something that nobody can forecast, no search engine can locate.  This has always frightened me.  I find it comforting to have instructions to fall back on, even if I do not need them.  They lend a sense of security in an unpredictable world.  The future has always been frightening because there is no manual, not even a right or wrong answer.  Important decisions in my life are often hard to make because most paths have their benefits and I am reluctant to forgo any of them in favor of the others.  Here on the beach, I find myself pondering the future.  How to come to grips with uncertainty?  How to know if I’m making the right decisions?  Am I even asking the right questions?  Speaking the right language?

            As I try to make sense of these questions, a thought occurs to me.  I am who I am today because of the countless decisions I have made in my life.  I have always thought that most of them have been the “right” decision.  What about the others?  Some of my choices have been poor; looking back, a few have surely been the wrong decision.  Those “wrong” decisions have been a part of shaping who I am, just like the “right” ones.  I have to say that I am very happy with my life and who I am, so the “wrong” decisions I have made have apparently turned out for the best.  Does that mean they were the “right” decision for me?  Perhaps.

            Perhaps my notion of there being absolute right and wrong decisions is misguided.  If the act of making a “wrong” decision causes it to be the right one for me in the end, then was it not the right decision?  I’m realizing that I should no longer worry about making the best possible decision and instead focus on getting the most out of whichever decision I make.  Once the pressure of having to make the best decision is off, I will be better able to decide between two good alternatives knowing that they are likely both the right choice.  Whichever acceptable path I choose will be unique, and I will look back on the choice and know that it was the right one even though there may be another “right” path parallel to the one I am on.  I am not missing out on the other path, because I am fully enjoying the one I am on.  Here on the beach, I decide to go down the path through my life that I have been looking down with wonder for quite some time.  I know it is the right choice.



So, my decision was made, but then I had a lot of things to do before I could propose.  Here is the story of that process:


            I had decided sometime in the fall that I would ask Ashby to marry me.  I can’t be sure when the decision was made, but the decision was the product of a process I had begun in earnest over the summer.  It was at the Pacific Ocean that a rock on the beach had caught my eye.  I immediately knew that Ashby had to have that rock in an engagement ring.  After school started for the year I decided to get the ball rolling on the ring itself.  I sent the rock to Frank, my former cross country coach and scoutmaster who also is the jeweler in Erie.

            I sent several rocks to Frank, but he said that the one that had initially caught my eye was the best suited for use in a ring.  On an enterprise trip to Detroit I managed to get in to see Frank and chose a band.  I chose a very simple band because I wanted the rock and its story to stand out.  The only things left to do were to obtain Ashby’s parents’ blessing and to determine Ashby’s ring size.  One turned out to be much easier than the other.  I talked to her parents in the morning before I headed to Detroit for an expo.  Thankfully they were very delighted about the whole thing, although I think they were a understandably surprised at how quickly things had become so serious.  Ashby’s ring size on the other hand was not so easy to come by.  She had no rings to measure.  In fact she had never had a ‘real’ ring before.  Luckily Frank knows his business well, and made an educated guess.  I picked up the ring early in Thanksgiving Break.

            Now the only thing left was to ask, but when?  I had been thinking about the where’s and when’s and how’s for a while and had decided that I wanted to do it somewhere where we could be alone.  I also wanted it to be somewhere special for both of us.  Another consideration was that I wanted to ask while we were on break so that we could have it resized if need be.  So, when Ashby and her family came down for Thanksgiving I kept the ring in my coat pocket so that if the opportunity arose I would be ready.  I even made sure I put the box in my pocket the right way so that when I took it out it opened the right way.  As it turned out, I didn’t get a chance on Thanksgiving day which is just as well.  I didn’t want our special day to be on a national holiday; I wanted it to be special all on its own.  The next morning I saw my opportunity.  Ashby had spent the night at our house, and after breakfast mom asked if we wanted to walk our dog, Putter, and cut down a Christmas tree.  I tried not to act too excited about it to ruin the surprise, and Ashby and I went for the walk.  As we made the loop through the woods behind our house I worked to build up my courage.  After we passed the halfway point I decided that it was now or never.  I told Ashby the story of the rock I had found just as I had been rehearsing to myself for so long.  As I finished the story I knelt and… my hand got stuck in my pocket!  I wasn’t thinking about wearing gloves when I put the box in my coat.  It wasn’t a huge disaster because after a moment of wiggling I got the box out and asked her if she would marry me.

            I didn’t know what kind of reaction to expect, but I surely did not expect the one that happened.  Ashby’s reaction was somewhere between a cry and a laugh.  She knelt down beside me and hugged me for a long moment while she cried for joy.  After a while I realized that she hadn’t even seen the ring yet.  I was still a little worried that she wasn’t going to like it because it wasn’t a diamond.  When she saw it she loved it.  She had to ask me what hand it went on and in the excitement I told her to put it on the wrong hand because that’s where I had worn my high school class ring.  Much to my surprise the ring fit perfectly and did not need to be resized.  We finished the walk and finally Ashby had composed herself just enough to go inside and see my mom.  As soon as Ashby told her the news she began her laughing/crying for a moment again.  Mom was very excited at the news.  She told Ashby how she thought I could look for a long time and never find a girl like her.

            After that announcement, we went to cut down the tree we had chosen out of the evergreen patch and brought it in.  We then decided it was time to go back to Ashby’s house to tell her dad and Chloe the news.  We stopped by grandma’s on the way to let her know as well.  She was very happy and told Ashby she was happy to have another granddaughter.  On the way to Ashby’s house I finally realized that I had told her to put the ring on the wrong finger.  That mistake was quickly corrected and we hoped that nobody had noticed.  If they had, they were too polite to mention it.  When we got to Ashby’s house, I think she was unsure of how to make the announcement.  I made some small talk with her dad about how he enjoyed coming down to grandma’s for Thanksgiving dinner.  He told us that the whole family had enjoyed it, which was a relief because now he was becoming a part of my family.  After that Ashby worked up the courage to tell him the big news and he was just as happy about it as everyone else had been.  Our planned trip out to eat for lunch took on a whole new meaning that day.  Later when Ashby's sister Chloe had come out of the shower after running Ashby told her the news and Chloe could barely contain her excitement.  She wanted to tell all her friends but Ashby wouldn’t let her because she wanted to tell everyone herself and knew that word would spread like wildfire.  Ashby began to call all of her friends and one even came over to bring Ashby flowers and to congratulate us (and probably to make sure we weren’t pulling her leg).  When she heard the story of the ring she said that I really do understand Ashby.  That was good to hear.  Later, Ashby’s mom came home from work and after she had told a story about a frustrating day at work, Ashby told her the news as well.  She felt so bad about holding up the news with her story, but needless to say, she quickly forgot the stressful day of work.


It has already been a great few days.  Ashby and I couldn't be happier.  Everyone has been asking when the wedding will be, and the answer is that we're not sure yet.  Ideally it would be around the summer of 2010.  That could happen if many things fall into place just right.  We want to be sure that we are ready.  Now that we are engaged we can start making some concrete plans.  Thanks to everyone for your best wishes!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Settling In


Ashby and I at the Copper Harbor lighthouse, the 
northernmost point in our weekend road trip.


I've been in Houghton or about two weeks now, and am beginning to settle into the routines of going to class and living off campus.  I've found that living off campus has been the right decision for me.  It's been much quieter and I have my own room that's only slightly smaller than the one I shared last year!  The cost is much less here as well, which more than offsets the necessity of commuting to campus (about 3 miles).

Classes have gone fairly well so far, with none that I'm too worried about.  I've also decided to join the Automotive Systems Enterprise team, which is a student group which competes to design and build the most fuel-efficient vehicle.  This will be a great way for me to gain experience while having fun.  I look forward to working on this project in the coming years.

Ashby and I took advantage of the time before classes started to take a trip up the Keweenaw peninsula.  We also made it to a few of the events put on for freshman orientation week.  This weekend we went to K (Keweenaw) Day, held at McLain State Park by the university.  We are trying to enjoy outdoor activities as much as possible before the weather turns cold.  It's nice to go to school in an area where there are so many opportunities for outdoor activities.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Back to School


Yesterday morning, I saw my girlfriend, Ashby, off on her way back to school at Michigan Tech.  As I drove home from her house, I realized that this was the first time since we've known each other that we've made the 600 mile trek to Houghton separately.  I love driving (I get it from my dad.) and have always driven on the way home and back when we are on break.  This time, however, Ashby had to be up north two weeks earlier than I do, because of her job training.  Her parents are driving her up this time.  The upside to the situation is that I will be able to take my car instead of driving the truck to move both of us.  The way gas prices are looking that will be quite a relief.  

I find that I'm much more excited about going back to school this year.  Having experienced one year of college has made a huge difference for my anxiety level.  Even so, I've started the 'to take' pile in the spare bedroom.  I plan to leave a week early to settle in and spend some time with Ashby before classes start.  That gives me a little more than a week to get everything ready.  I'm looking forward to being back.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Summer

Summer has really been flying by.  I finished my summer courses at the University of Toledo a few weeks ago.  I took introductory courses in Psychology and Macroeconomics so that I can stay ahead of things when I get back to Michigan Tech in the fall.  After that, I went on PALM(Pedal Across Lower Michigan) which was, as usual in my experience, a great week except for the two rainy days.  Immediately after returning home from PALM we left for a cousin's wedding in Virginia.  Both the wedding and the trip there and back were very nice.  I'm glad I had the chance to go.  Now that all of that is over, I can relax a little for the rest of the summer, although I always seem to be able to find some project or other that keeps me busy when I'm not spending time with my girlfriend and her family.

Unfortunately, it's looking like I will not be able to make two of my favorite runs this summer.  The Energy Run and the Run Thru Hell both fall during my family's vacation this year.  Maybe I'll find other events.  (Any suggestions?)  On a higher note, I did meet my goal of finishing a half marathon this summer.  I ran the Dexter-Ann Arbor run.  I was very pleased with my time, although I now know that in the future I can improve by starting at a faster pace.

I'm sure that summer will end long before I'm ready, but I've done many things already this summer and hope to do as many more before it ends.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Spring Fling

Michigan Tech's annual Spring Fling was today. The main festivity is mud volleyball known as "Ooze Ball." Unfortunately, I was only able to enjoy the events for a short time, as the festivities were drawing to a close by the time my classes ended for the day.



Ooze Ball


The snowmobile club was feeling a little down on their luck.


A friendly reminder to all the Ooze Ball players.

Friday, April 11, 2008

UP Weather



This morning, it was quite a surprise to look out the window and see a blizzard.  Some snow is not that surprising even this time of the year in Houghton.  It regularly dips below freezing at night.  A blizzard, however, is something entirely different.  And it came just as we began to see grass on campus again, as if to say "Fooled you!"  Oh well, it is da UP.  Maybe we'll be able to wear shorts outside before we go home for the summer in a few weeks.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Spring?!?

You know when you've been through a winter at Michigan Tech when the sight of mud scares you. The parking lot I keep the Suburban in is not paved, and over break it was warm enough to melt the ever-present layer of ice that used to cover the lot. As I pulled into the lot, I saw dirt there for the first time and thought to myself 'I'd better be careful, don't want to get stuck in the mud.' A moment later, I realized that the chances of getting stuck in the mud were far less than dropping a tire (or all four) through the snow pack in a parking space and needing a tug to get out (which has happened). I've gotten so used to driving on snow and ice that it's a strange thought to not have to worry about sliding around.

It seems that spring really is on it's way up here. Looking at the forecast, temperatures are on the rise with temperatures above freezing becoming ever more common. The snow is melting and in a few places you can see the grass (or the dirt where grass used to be). I don't remember ever wishing spring would come before. At home, the snow never stayed long enough for my taste. This year I am ready for spring to come. This winter finally gave me my fill of snow and winter weather. I really enjoyed it while it lasted, but I'm looking forward to all the things I'll be able to do outside again, like running, or even just going for a walk.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Weekend Snowmobile Trip

This weekend has been a busy one for my snowmobile.  On Saturday, Ashby and I went for a ride of around 30 miles (round trip) down trail 3.  On the way back, we stopped at Quincy's restaurant for dinner.  Sunday was so warm (high of 38 degrees) that I couldn't resist going out again.  This time I went with my friend Tyler.  We left houghton and took trail 17 north to Calumet.  There, we managed to find the other end of trail 3 and took it back to Houghton.  It was nice to have new scenery on the way back, instead of the other side of the same trees.  Now the old Arctic Cat has well over 100 new miles on it since I brought it up here, and it should cover many more over the next several winters.  In two weeks I'll be going home for spring break, and I'll be bringing the Panther home with me.  Hopefully I'll get my fill of snowmobiling next weekend.

The snowmobile parking lot at Quincy's.  
I think there were more snowmobiles than cars!
The snowmobile trail through Calumet.
Sunset behind the Lift Bridge.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Winter Carnival Begins

Winter Carnival is finally upon us.  Tonight is the overnight statue construction frenzy.  Unfortunately, I have a bit of a cold, so I decided it would be a good idea to stay indoors and not get run over by a front-end-loader.  Hopefully I will be over the cold enough to go outside and enjoy the carnival tomorrow once the festivities get going in earnest.  I'll make sure to get planty of pictures and I'll post the best.  Below are some pictures I took of some of the long term statues as of a few days ago.  They have already come a long way since then.

Last night I went to watch Ashby and her hall compete in Ice Bowling.  She was one of the bowling balls.  They did well, taking 3rd overall.  There are pictures of that below as well.  She's playing broomball tomorrow morning as well.  This weekend we'll be going to see Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood of Who's Line is it Anyway fame.  We should have lots of fun over the next few days.

One of the statues that was furthest along.
A wall of snow waiting to be sculpted
One of the statues involves a car frozen in a block of ice.
Ashby's team getting ready to launch her at the pins.
Success!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Snowday

Wednesday was a historical day for the MTU community.  We had a snowday.  That is a very rare occurrence here in the Keweenaw.  However, the university couldn't ignore the -44 degree wind chill.  Unfortunately I had already caught up on my homework, and it was decided that snowmobiling might be a rather bad idea.  So, the day was spent just hanging around the dorm.  Ashby came over and we watched a movie, played a few games of pool and sat in the cafe for a while.  Not a bad way to spend an unexpected day off. Below are some pictures I took from the window in my room looking toward campus.  The bottom picture is what the first picture looks like on a nice day.





Sunday, January 27, 2008

Weekend Activities

This has been a fun weekend.  I took the snowmobile for a ride on both Saturday and Sunday.  On Saturday, I took Ashby and we went about 20 miles, and on Sunday my friend Aaron and I rode for about 25.  The trail from where the snowmobile is parked to the bridge to Hancock is quite rough.  Once over the bridge, though, it was much smoother thanks to the grooming crews.  There have been no mechanical problems so far, so that is a good sign.  Today was so warn (around freezing) that I wished I hadn't worn my snowpants.  I brought my camera and got some pictures of the trip.  Also, Ashby and I took a walk around campus to enjoy the balmy 32 degree weather, so I took pictures of some of the snow statues that are taking shape.


The Jack Stevens Calumet-Hancock Rail Trail.
A trailhead with signs for various restaurants, gas stations, hotels, etc.
The lift bridge.
The view from the driver's seat.
A snow statue taking shape.
Jack Frost.
A train engine in the making.


Monday, January 21, 2008

Snowmobile First Test Run

Today, I finally had the chance to get my snowmobile out on the trails.  I only took it about five miles total, and stayed within about two miles (walking distance) of campus.  Everything went very smoothly.  It seems that the repairs are holding up wonderfully.  Ashby enjoyed the ride as well, so we'll have to venture further next weekend.  For now, though, it is just good to know that the old 'Cat works properly.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Lumijuoksu

Today was the first annual Lumijuoksu, held in Hancock by the MTU Track & Field team.  Lumijuoksu means "snow run" in Finnish.  Of course, I can't pass up any opportunity for an open 5K run, even in the middle of January.  The run lived up to its name, with snow falling steadily for most of the morning.  Temperatures were in the -3 to 4 degree range, depending on who you ask, and wind chill was as cold as -26 degrees F.  The run was through downtown Hancock and the route passed snowbanks that were taller than I am.  I don't think I stepped on any pavement for the whole race.  Well, it was a snow run.  I made sure to bundle up in many layers and to leave no skin exposed.  As it turns out, I wore the right amount, only mildly overheating near the finish.  After getting my coat and snowpants back on, Ashby and I made our way to the awards ceremony.  It turned out that I won the 14-19 age group.  All in all a very fun and rewarding run.  It was definitely like nothing I have done before.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Snowmobile Video

I decided to go ahead and test the snowmobile before leaving for Houghton, even with no snow on the ground.  Everything seemed to go well.  Of course, it will be much better once there is snow to run on.  Here's a video of the test:



Friday, January 11, 2008

Going Back

It's about time for me to head back to school after Christmas Break.  My big project over the past three weeks (and possibly for the next four years or so...) has been restoring a 1974 Arctic Cat snowmobile with quite a bit of much appreciated help from my uncle.  Most of the work went into fixing a leaking seal in the transmission.  It has an odd transmission for a snowmobile, consisting of an automotive style torque converter rather than the usual belt-driven transmission.  It should be fun to run around on the snowmobile trails up around Houghton.  Unfortunately there has been a complete lack of snow here at home, so I have not been able to test the snowmobile out.  It does move under its own power, so that's a good sign.  I'll post an update as soon as I get it out on the trails up north.  I'll hopefully get a video to post as well.